Friends, beauty and self-esteem

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We bet you could name three things that you find beautiful about your best friend – but could you do the same for yourself? Watch our video and use our fun action checklist to explore why we’re so hard on ourselves when it comes to compliments.

This “Friends” video was made by asking groups of women “What do you love about your body?”

And then asking them “What do you love about your friend’s body?”

Can you guess the reactions to each?

Why don’t we appreciate ourselves?

It’s all too easy to see the things we like and admire in other people. But we don’t seem as adept at seeing those things in ourselves. According to a global piece of research, The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited, only 4% of women think they are beautiful. Why do we default to such a critical opinion of ourselves?

Each of us is a unique individual; the sum of our cultures, families, backgrounds, choices, lifestyles and more. By constantly comparing ourselves to selective aspects of those around us, we are creating an impossible ideal; and one we could never live up to.

It’s important to recognize what is beautiful about our appearance, but also remember that’s not the whole story.

Try our action checklist with your daughter and learn how to start giving yourself compliments as well as your friends.

Action checklist:
How to love yourself as much as you love your friends

Spend some time exploring the topic with your daughter: Watch the “Friends” video together, and then see if you can think of five things you like about one another and five things you each like about yourselves. Focus on both the inside and the outside: physicality, personality and character.

Talk to your friends about things other than appearance: Show your friends that you value their personalities and other characteristics by complimenting them on aspects other than their appearance.

Apply the “what would my best friend say?” test. Next time you’re being tough on yourself about how you look, remember the “Friends” video. What would your best friend say to you if she was there? Use the encouragement you know she’d give you to stop the self-criticism.

What next: Action steps to help

  • Talk to your daughter about what you find beautiful about her and ask her to do the same for you.
  • Now get your daughter talking to her friends. What does she learn? How does it make her feel? Perhaps they could make a “Friends” video of their own and share them?
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